On the Back o' th' Bus
by Malimillions
Summary: The infamous Truten duo gossip about a certain ressurected Saya-jin Turles together on their bus ride to school, and end up at (different) interesting conclusions. Intelligentsarcastic! Goten, bratty Trunks. Part drabble, part teaser. Yoai.


The bus jumped to a start, jumped over the curb, and barely missed Mrs. Forna's tulip rows. Shifting his grip on the handlebars on the interior of the school bus, Goten peered at his friend disbelievingly.

"Tru-chan, what—"

His older friend grinned in the matted gloom of the mud-splattered school-issue windows.

"It's true; it is. I know it's hard for you to understand, since with the exception of our dads, you're the only one blind to it."

"You mean out of all the whole or part Saya-jin males on this planet, besides me and our fathers, right?" A wry note ""And _how_ many men is that in grand total, again?"

"Shut it- Most of the Z senshi feel the same way."

"Yeah, sure. Not counting Dende-sama, or Mr. Popo, or Pau'ar, or Piccollo-san, all the Z senshi-"

"_And_ our moms—and grandma-"

A sigh. "An' our moms. And Mrs. Briefs, every single one of the above mentioned Z-senshi,"

"Saya-jin-"

"-Part Saya-jin... with the exception of me—"

"--- have the hots for Turlusu-san."

"Right."

"Right."

"Uh huh."

"You still don't see it?!"

"No."

"Kami, chibi! The man's hot!"

"So? My momma's hot, and not everyone is love with her-"

"My dad is."

"What?"

"Never mind. Forget it—you didn't hear me say that."

"Okay, whatever." He ran his fingers through his hair, his temper erratic.

"Anyway, my point is, Chibi, is that the man is fiiiine."

"Alright—okay. You've established that."

"He is!"

"Uh huh. I say it's just the hormones addling your brain since he's 'in heat' or whatever Nappa-san called it."

"You don't believe me!"

"Sure I believe you. I just don't see my 'uncle' that way."

"What do you mean, 'that way'?"

"He hangs around the house so much he's practically my aunt, Trunks."

"—Oh."

"Yes."

"Ah."

"Yes, 'ah'."

"Well, he's a _hot_ aunt."

"You just don't give up, do you?"

"Nope. Say; I know you don't like your Aunt-"

"Define 'like'."

"God, Goten! I don't mean like, _like_, like! I mean like, as in, am fond of!"

"Uhh....."

"Not as a family member, I mean."

"Okay, I think I see what you mean now."

"Good!"

"But beyond the whole family member thing, there's not a hell of a lot there to like."

"What _are_ you talking about?! He's awesome!"

"'Cause he's 'hot'?" Goten supplied, remembering the fit his older brother had thrown in when he had first seen Turlusu again. Someday, Goten was sure he'd have to make a list of all the beings in the universe that Son Gohan had been threaten or kidnapped by, since it seemed to be the only damned way to keep them all straight in his mind.

"Yeah, but he's awesome, too!"

"Awesome, how?"

"He whups _total_ ass!"

"Most Saya-jins do, Trunks."

"He's got mad skills; he can track, he can hunt, he can kill—"

"Um.... Again, any Saya-jin can do that, Trunks. Any Saya-jin with a nose, that is."

"He's a killer with his opponents!"

"He doesn't use the 'knock them around' technique like my dad and your dad do or whatever, I know. I _think_ he just blasts the snot outta them. It's not style or anything; he's really just a plain pirate and marauder."

"What?"

"Didn't you know?"

"What?" a sigh.

"There's a reason why your father banned him from doing _any_ sort of training or sparring with any of the other Saya-jin, Trunks."

"I don't understand."

"Just.... Just stay away from him, Trunks. Trust me."

"Is it because dad knows that I like him?"

"Maybe, but I don't think that's it."

"He's a bad influence?"

"Yeah, that too."

"What _is_ it?"

".... He's a killer, Trunks."

"Hunh, all Saya-jin are killers! Does the term 'planetary real estate' mean anything to you?"

"Yeah... but... you shouldn't go near him, Trunks."

"Well, your _uncle_ is a killer, Goten!"

"So's your father!"

"He's a _retired_ killer, chibi."

"Ooo. Big difference."

"What is it that you're not telling me?"

A sigh, softly now. "He's.... really cruel. Even by Saya-jin standards. Plus he doesn't exactly like you." They both gazed at the houses and stores flying past through the bus windows, trying to remember all the details of the story Gohan had told them about the supposed 'Tree of Might'. While Radditzu had murdered someone as soon as his ship had touched ground and Vegeta and Nappa had razed a few cities and battle ships, Turlusu had succeeded in turning the entire _planet_ into a barren desert while growing his.... tree.

"It's not like it's _my_ fault that I'm half human and have my grandfather Briefs's coloring."

"I know, Trunks, I know. But he doesn't care.... he's so traditionally Saya-jin he's almost a bit of a bigot."

"Yeah, well.... We all know that Radditzu and Nappa feel the same way as Turlusu does, but they're still too loyal to my dad to say anything about it." Tuurunks head drooped a bit. Goten stared at his friend for a moment, pursing his lip.

"Well.... Cheer up! It doesn't seem to bother Brolli or Paragus much."

"Um.... That's 'cause Brolli's hair is naturally navy colored, and Paragus probably just follows anyone who's powerful enough, their coloring be damned."

"Aw, c'mon Tuurunksu, you know that's not true! He _hates_ your dad, right?"

"Right, that's true." Oddly enough, this seemed to cheer Tuurunksu up a bit. Goten just didn't want to point out that Paragus hated _anyone_ related to the Royal House of Veggie-sei..... Which would probably extend to Trunks, too.

The bus jiggled a bit more, apparently shouldering over the curb and going through a few front yards of the downtown shopping district for good measure. After finding their seats once more after being tossed, Goten realized that Tuurunksu was looking at him expectantly.

"So.... What _is_ it, anyway? Why is no one allowed to mix with Turlusu, chibi?" silently the lavender demi added 'and especially why not me?'

"Uh, um.... I'm not allowed."

"What?"

"I'm. I-I'm not allowed to tell you."


End file.
